My Sister, the Beauty Product Queen

Anytime I come up to my hometown, I stay at my 'rents house, and I get the chance to try all of my sister's beauty products without the hell of actually having to buy them myself, only to discover that they are not as good as they promise.

Last night, before hitting my not-so-comfortable bed, I used my sister's toothpaste, her face wash, and her night cream. The toothpaste is specially made to whiten your teeth, and when I squeezed it onto my toothbrush I had to double check that it was, in fact, toothpaste, because it had the color and consistency of a face mask. When I began to scrub my teeth, I had to re-check the tube AGAIN to really make sure it was toothpaste because it had the taste of a face mask, too. Blech.

The face wash was made to make you up in the morning, with a zesty scent of lemons and some sort of herb, and little round beads that exfoliated. It wasn't life changing, but it did the job really well, clearing up my skin overnight. Afterward, I began to dig in her cabinets to see what other products I could play with. I found night creme. When I think of night creme, I think of old ladies' trying desperately to stem the tide of aging, but it said it would moisturize, smooth, and soften my skin, so I figured why not?

When I smeared little dabs on my cheeks, chin, nose, and forehead and began to massage it in, I was again reminded of old ladies because it smelled like old lady powder. Was it talcum? Was it oldness? Who could say? I sucked it up and finished letting it soak in, then, done with trying to make my face as pretty as it can naturally be without the additive of make-up, I went to bed.

In the morning, my skin was clearer, and my normally ruddy complexion was more evenly toned. My face was baby soft, too. Looking and feeling touchable, all for the low, low price of absolutely nothing. Yay me.