Saturday, January 29, 2011

Behind the Times, but Still Opinionated

I have "thing" for paranormal stuff, so when I heard that Paranormal Activity 2 was coming out, my first reaction was: "There's a first one?" After being told by many, many people that it was the "scariest movie" they ever saw, and seeing reviews about how terrifying the movie-watching experience was, my interest was peaked.

Browsing Netflix, I came across the movie, Paranormal Activity, streaming. Yay me! My husband is not at all into paranormal things or even horror movies and thrillers, but since I am currently home alone with an unnamed illness which I like to call "The Cold From Hell" or much more specifically, "The Cold That Gets Its Revenge When You Ignore It By Making You Run a Fever and Break Down Crying Because Everything Hurts," my husband had some things to do while I did nurse's orders (Hi, Mom!) and stayed in bed and on the couch, respectively, home alone. Perfect time to relax and watch a good movie.

Unfortunately, I was a bit disappointed. First off, if Mikah is supposed to be a likable character. . .he's not. At first, he just seemed kind of goofy, which then progressed to annoying, stupid, and lastly classic macho-control. When his girlfriend tells him to leave the "demon" alone, he antagonizes it. When she demands they leave the house, he tells her no, because nobody is going to mess with his house or his girlfriend. The three toed footsteps in the hallway in baby powder don't do it; the burnt picture of his girlfriend at eight-years-old which shouldn't have existed due to a fire that year that destroyed everything doesn't do it; the Ouija board, left to its own devices since his girlfriend got so angry that he let it be, conducting business all by itself and then inexplicably catching on fire doesn't do it. Nope, it takes his girlfriend being dragged from the bed and through the hallway by some unknown entity to convince him that they should leave.

Maybe things would have escalated anyway (you know, if the events were real), but I blame Micah. He didn't get what he deserved, in no way, shape, or form (I, personally, was waiting for the b*tich slap to end all b*tch slaps, to be honest).

Aside from the unlikable boyfriend character, the effects were lame. They would have been more believable with less obvious sound effects. When there's a loud boom that echoes through the house, both parties awake and freak, then discuss the possibilities of what the boom might have been. What I heard was an unholy shriek and then a boom, but neither character mentions it, so I just had to assume it was put in for a scarier effect. When footsteps are heard there's also a low rumbling, but I can't tell if it's the "demon", the sound being amplified for the audience, or sound effects added again. Pretty annoying.

Also, the psychic was not very good at pretending to be in a "real" situation.

All in all, three stars. Liked it, glad I watched it, but was not as happy with it as I'd hoped to be.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Zombie Apocalypse!

The Zombie Bite Calculator

Created by Oatmeal

I actually don't believe this. For one thing, I'm pretty tough. Also, I'm knowledgeable about zombies and creatures related to zombies (anyone see 'The Invasion' with Nicole Kidman? Awesome movie!). The chances of me being bitten are pretty slim, considering that I wouldn't take half an hour to figure out that a head shot is what's really required given the situation. Also, I remember the rules of zombie survival a la 'Zombie-land'. (Double-tap! Cardio! Always wear a seat belt!).